charliebadass (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} charliebadass) wrote,@ 2005-02-02 08:42:00 |
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on the road again
i'm headed back out this sunday. back down to florida for the third time this year. i feel like i'm one half traveling salesman and one half businessman. my business is seedy like the salesman, woman, cigarette smoke, booze, hotel rooms, airports, posturing. i need a cheap suit, a gold chain or two and some ugly rings - no more than 10 karat - that would complete the image. The late night drunken phone calls to the girlfriend while there are three women in your room, or at your table or wherever doing whatever.
on the other hand it's another day at the office. There's board meetings, schmoozing the clients, showing up on time, clean shaven, teeth brushed, laughing at shit that really isn't funny. there's the i love you phone calls where you hear yourself saying it for a multitude of reasons, you really mean it (kinda) (i think i do?), she needs to hear it, they should hear it, it makes you less of a monster if there is love in your life - i think.
The work is either hard. fast paced...adrenaline/amphetamine rush.
or incredibly, loopy and boring.
Some shows have both, sometimes switching gears quicker than you'd appreciate high and low and high again. Some have only one gear.
I'm my department's new show horse. A young stud out there, eager to make contacts, friends, allies with the many powers that be in this industry. They've been on the road. They've tired of it. Married up, had some kids, whatever - they're done with it. They brought me in, 24 years old, bright, and ready to go. They know it won't break me, they've been through it all. But they had a lot more lattitude when they were making the rules on the fly.
i don't know that this is for me.
i'm headed back out this sunday. back down to florida for the third time this year. i feel like i'm one half traveling salesman and one half businessman. my business is seedy like the salesman, woman, cigarette smoke, booze, hotel rooms, airports, posturing. i need a cheap suit, a gold chain or two and some ugly rings - no more than 10 karat - that would complete the image. The late night drunken phone calls to the girlfriend while there are three women in your room, or at your table or wherever doing whatever.
on the other hand it's another day at the office. There's board meetings, schmoozing the clients, showing up on time, clean shaven, teeth brushed, laughing at shit that really isn't funny. there's the i love you phone calls where you hear yourself saying it for a multitude of reasons, you really mean it (kinda) (i think i do?), she needs to hear it, they should hear it, it makes you less of a monster if there is love in your life - i think.
The work is either hard. fast paced...adrenaline/amphetamine rush.
or incredibly, loopy and boring.
Some shows have both, sometimes switching gears quicker than you'd appreciate high and low and high again. Some have only one gear.
I'm my department's new show horse. A young stud out there, eager to make contacts, friends, allies with the many powers that be in this industry. They've been on the road. They've tired of it. Married up, had some kids, whatever - they're done with it. They brought me in, 24 years old, bright, and ready to go. They know it won't break me, they've been through it all. But they had a lot more lattitude when they were making the rules on the fly.
i don't know that this is for me.
